Part time mother...

... full-time freak?

Sometimes I feel like I'm a part time mother. Except for the first 10 weeks, when I was on maternity leave, living every second with Rian. Now I have to take care of my baby only for a few waking hours every day. Then off I go, to work. Spend 8 hours in a chair thinking sometimes about my babe at home.

The first 10 weeks of life at home with Rian were amazing. They were also the ones with the most ups and downs. Day in and day out, all I was doing was changing Rian's diaper, feeding Rian, and putting him to sleep. After the 8th week, things got a bit rewarding, when Rian started responding to our overtures with beautiful smiles. He used to play a lot in his gym. We'd started going out for park visits.

Through my baby's first year, we were lucky to have my mom and later Amit's parents around to help us. Now that we're planning to fly solo (nanny to take care of Rian), this part time mother wonders how life's going to change. Nervous and excited at the same time, taking on new challenges, bonding more closely with Rian compared to the past few months. No more sleep-ins on Saturday mornings, as we'd have to take care of Rian. Eventually late nights will be out, else we'll be napping with Rian on the weekends :-)

You are my sunshine

... my only sunshine

My dear sweet Rian. You make my mornings shiny bright. Yesterday you woke up before mommy and daddy. You were sitting up, and as you saw Daddy's eyes open, you started clapping your hands with glee! Mom had turned the other side, so you climbed over mom to peek at her face, how cute! Mommy and Daddy asked for kissie, and you obliged with that wide open mouth.

Today mommy and daddy woke up before you did. You opened your eyes and felt mom's hand on you, and followed it, turned towards mom, and gave her the most precious smile. How we love when you squeal with joy, then scurry off to climb the pillow mountain and get on top to touch the wall hanging...

And now some words from U2 for you, my babe:
Baby slow down
The end is not as fun as the start
Please stay a child somewhere in your heart

Mom rules

Yes yes, I rule as Mom ;-) but that aside, many times I feel compelled to write set of rules for moms. So many things learned over the the past year, experienced first-hand by making those golden mistakes... maybe some day I will learn from myself! For what its worth, here goes:

1. If it ain't broken, don't fix it. Seems such an easy one for mom's to follow. But sometimes we're in this "let me experiment" mode. When Rian was ~3 months old, we tried to change his baby wipes on suggestions our friends gave us. Well meaning friends, of course, but all babies are different. We were using Pampers Sensitive Wipes at the time, and a friend recommended using Kirkland wipes - cheaper, stronger, and had "cotton". We also discovered they had less moisture unfortunately, and for that cute young butt, something was not right. Rian had his episode of diaper rash which unfortunately lasted for almost a week. Thanks to Boudreaux Butt Paste, he finally recovered. Yet, mommy chose to make the same mistake again. A week back all was well in brushing land. Rian was happy brushing morning and night. A friend suggested "try the tooty frooty flavor", and off went mommy again, experimenting. Our little fellow absolutely hated it for 3 days. Then it struck me - let me try my plain old toothpaste again, and here he was, a happy baby, letting mommy do brushie brushie.
2. Throw guilt out the window. We live in a complex world, and are always trying to overachieve. Be it lofty goals like "I will catchup with my TODO list today", or "I will spend 3 hours with Rian today", or "I will breastfeed for a year". Its great to have a goal to motivate you, but mommies, please, don't stress yourself out if you can't. Easier said than done, but try to let go and relax. Enjoy the present with your baby. There will always be dishes to do or that teether to buy online or that document you owe your manager. And it will get done when it has to get done.
3. Don't compare. I seriously detest comparison mommies. Many of them will go "Is Rian eating table food yet", "is he walking yet", "oh, mine calls me mummy since she was 9 months old, does yours?". If you're using these as conversation starters, sure. But don't make it the only thing you talk about. There are so many more interesting things to talk about, like what's the latest park you've been to.
   
4. Learn from your baby. Sometimes babies are just not ready to try some things. Take cues from your baby, listen to them. But babies do tend to get into their comfort spots, so when the pediatrician tells you to introduce the sippy cup, that's the time to push your tot.
5. You know your baby best. Even though you may spend just an hour every day with the baby, way less than the baby sitter or day time care person, trust your instincts and believe me when I say you know your baby the best. Take comfort in the fact that you have a special connection, and your baby will tell you what's wrong with him.
6. Dad knows best, too. Dads love to chip in. Moms need to let Dads do it their way. Help them when they ask for it, but in general, don't micromanage them. No one likes that.
   

Any other advice to add to the list, moms & dads?

Rian has left the building

Almost... For almost a week now, Rian can open doors. His intahligant mommy taught him how to carefully open doors: stand on the side, then pull the handle down :D he he he ...

And now mommy's brain is planning to leave too, but not before a coredump -- BEEEEP -- here goes!

Rian now remembers... lots of things! He loves destroying towers of blocks we build for him. He has loads of masti up his sleeve. Check out this YouTube video of Rian and pillows on our love seat.



Rian loves exploring. He dutifully tries to open drawers in Aaji's bedroom and examines every small thing on Aaji's side table. Check out his YouTube video.



Rian sports a cute choti a few mornings, when mommy gets irritated with his long hair going into his eyes.

Rian claps when he's happy :-) It's pretty cute to see it in person. You all are invited! Aaji has taught him "ithe ithe bas re mora" and he can now point with his forefinger. This one is even cuter than Rian clapping, trust me.



2 weeks after he started walking on his own, he's now trying to run ... after geese! We discovered and fell in love with a new Park in Cupertino, Memorial Park. We went there on Saturday and Sunday evening.

Last week Rian surprised us by sleeping from 10 to 6 for a couple of nights. This week, he's back to his usual routine of waking up ~2-3am and we have to live with his kicks after that, in our bed.

Last week we tried to cut down Rian's acid reflux medicine drastically (from 1.7ml/day to 0.5ml/day) and it backfired, as usual. The poor fellow was in misery for at least 3 continuous days as food travelled back up his throat :-( We witnessed an 11pm awakening with loud wails that subsided only 15 minutes after Tylenol made it into his system. After a long time Rian threw up on Daddy's t-shirt. Sigh. Up goes Zantac, to 1.7ml/day.

Rian was up at 4am today, and didn't sleep until 5:15am, and wanted Daddy and Mommy to play with him. Since it was night #2 he was keeping us awake, off he was bundled, to grandpa and grandma. So thankful they are here now, dreading the days when we won't have that support.

Yawn. Gotta sleep now. Almost time for Rian to start doing his wakeup routine!

Chicken pox from the vaccine

Last Thursday (16 July) when we got home, Rian was very cranky and had not had his naps properly. We had noticed some red marks on his legs the day before, and presumed them to be mosquito bites. On closer inspection this day, a random thought came into my mind. It was the 10th day of his 1 year vaccines (given on 7th), and I remember the doctor mentioned we may see a rash from the MMR. I thought this was related to measles. It completely skipped my mind that he received Varicella as well. We called PAMF after hours nurse support.

Usually the advice nurses are very good, but this time around it took forever to speak to one, she didn't have Rian's record in front of her, asked me tons of questions about this "rash", and the conversation wasn't very nice. Meanwhile Amit had given Rian some Tylenol, so baby had his dinner without incident and had seemed to calm down quite a bit. We missed the urgent care window by 10mins, and decided to monitor Rian overnight on our own. The next day was Friday and was WFH so I could monitor the little fellow and take him to urgent care if required. Since he was fine throughout the day, albeit a bit cranky, we decided to skip the visit to the pediatrician.

On Friday night though, one red spot on his leg and one on his right hand seemed to be full of "water" and the one on his leg burst. Now we were concerned, and got an appt for Saturday morning 10:30am. The doctor (Amy Henegan) was very nice to us and explained this was classic chicken pox from the vaccine, a 1 in 100 chance. She handed us some anti-biotic ointment to prevent infection of those boils. Since the virus is attenuated for the vaccine, this chicken pox does not spread to healthy people. Phew, what a relief!

Today Rian is getting much better, and the boils have reduced in size. They're still there though, and the one on his hand burst and made a big wound :-( My brave babe is taking the boo boo quite well, I should add. A few 6am wakings :-) and a few low grade fevers asides, he's my sweet little pumpkin. Get well soon, meri jaan.

Sleepwalking

A couple of nights ago, I was exhausted from work and an early morning, and hit the pillow at 10:30am, alone. Rian was asleep in his crib since 9:30pm. Amit was watching TV and later working, downstairs. When Amit came upstairs at 11:30pm, he saw: Rian and me stuck to each other in bed :-) and pillows neatly stacked on Amit's side of the bed so Rian doesn't roll-off!

Till date I have no recollection of even waking up to get Rian from the crib. Even in my sleepwalking episode, I was so cautious that I stacked pillows ;-) I'm impressed with my own maternal instints.

Walking toddler

It's been two weeks since Rian took those first few steps unassisted. Suddenly a day after his birthday party, Rian just decided to start walking... all by himself... 30 steps, and more. And now he's all over the place. He never once wants to crawl anymore :-) Here's a YouTube video of Rian Butala crawling.

In these two weeks, Rian has also lost almost all his baby fat :-( I can feel his bones now when I hug him. Eh my poor little sweet thing, please don't grow up so fast... slow down...

[Edit on 7/15/09]: Since Monday 7/13/09, Rian is also on a new sleep & wake-up routine: we are brushing his teeth at night after his milk, and in the morning before his breakfast. Rian does not get any milk in the middle of the night now.

Rian now has 6 pearly whites :-)