Rian's latest toy

Last weekend we bought a new toy for Rian - a laptop - with ONE objective - he will no longer jump for ours :-) Working well for us so far!

Bribing Rian

A while ago, we'd bribed Rian with 5 mins of TV time - he has one favorite DVD of Marathi songs for kids with cartoons. This worked well for us when he absolutely wouldn't have a single morsel of food. It started backfiring when Rian started pointing to the TV every night at dinner time and with his nanny Cely too. We promptly stopped any TV time at dinner.

With the advent of winter and dipping temperatures and cold/cough that Rian and nanny Cely have caught, they don't seem to go out for their morning walk which used to be an hour. Long summer evenings had Rian playing outside in our complex but winter makes it dark and cold outside at 5pm, thus ending play for Rian before it begins. Today he is so desperate to go out (bujja) that I bribed him to sleep saying if you sleep now, we will go bujja once you wake up. I'm planning to use the same one to make him eat something before we leave for the evening. Let's see how that goes!

Hello again, world!

It's been more than 2 months since we're off life-support aka grandparents'-support. I can tell you for sure, it seems like its been 2 years! Life is a lot more hectic and the it literally shows: Daddy's lost a couple of inches around his midsection, and mommy's completely lost it ;-)

These last 2 months, Rian has been through some fascinating changes, and lack of time-n-energy have led to this dry spell in blogging. So here's a recap of Oct/Nov/Dec:

• Running. For a while now, running is Rian's preferred mode of transportation. We mastered crawling at 9 months and walking at a year. After that, it's been "stabilizing self", and then run, run, run.
  
• A tremendous sense of independence. This hit us when Rian wanted to eat all by himself, and that was the only way he would eat from us. Cely somehow still managed to spoon-feed him. I believe his independence stemmed from his sleep training too (more below)
  
• Teething. Above self-feeding fancy was quickly lost due to molar eruptions. These were by far the most painful, and we finally started giving Den-Tonic to Rian. That seemed to help his pain a bit, and he was back on semi-soft stuff to eat. When the pain eased, Rian was right back on track to eating himself. BTW Rian has more than the 6 teeth that he used to sport for almost 6 months :-) but a lot of his molars are not seen, so he's still the kid with 6 teeth for the photos!
  
• Sleep training. While the life-support was here, we never sleep trained Rian. Partly because it was easy to sleep in on weekends ;-) and partly because we were sure the kid's screams will not be ignored by the grandparents. Daddy started sleep training Rian after Aaji left, and to tell you the truth: I'm surprised how well it has gone. No crying, no fussing. All credit goes to Daddy and his patience, and his ghisa pita record of "Tiger barobar gai gai karaychi na" (we have to sleep with Tiger now). Rian's tiger was picked up the day we dropped Aaji to the airport, and when Daddy saw it, the scheme of sleep training with the soft toy took root. On the first day, Daddy spent more than an hr. On the second day, it was close to 40 mins. On the third day it was 15 mins. Most days Daddy emerges victorious from the bedroom in under 10 mins!!!! It has helped Rian's night wakings a bit. A month ago or so we took the next step: instead of moving his crib to his room (which is a non-reversible event), we moved to the guest bedroom. Mommy and Daddy get some cozy time and some conversation this way, and Rian is a scream away on the baby monitor. He still has 2-3 night wakings, but I must admit there are days I get 8 hrs of undisturbed much-needed beauty-sleep!
• Floriday. Yup that's what I mistype it most of the time. Our Florida holiday. Traveling with Mausami-Gunjan-Shayona was great! Mommy and Daddy got advice and help on Rian matters :-) and Rian had company. We visited Key West, Everglades NP, and Miami. We didn't cover as much tourist ground as others cover in 6 days (+2 days for travel), but had a good time with each other and relaxed with our kids - mainly - were able to forget that work and home (with more work) exist :-) Now that's what I call a good break! Rian seems to be catching up on the talking front too, observing a loquacious Shayona :-) He's mostly babbling now, and its a lot of fun to watch him try to convey something!
  
• Life Happens. After the break, a week was great. That was the lull before the storm though. The last 10 days have been hell. Amit had some throat irritation going. Rian then had fever and throat irritation. To treat his fever, the dumb doc actually gave him Ibuprofen that caused a flare up in his acid reflux. We were down to 0.3 ml/day of Zantac, slowly reducing the dosage since his first bday, and this caused us to go up again to 2 ml/day :-( Then, Cely fell sick with cold and cough. Rian now seems to have caught cold. Daddy had food poisoning and is down since yesterday. Mommy's body seems to be finally catching up with the sore throat and cold :-( Sigh.
  

Anyways, it was nice to recap all the things - good and bad - going on with us. So many more exciting things to look fwd to this year and early next year:

• Holiday cards. I guess we'll see if Mommy has enough time to do holiday cards this year. Cely's taking off when Mommy has her 10 day break.
• Texas vacay. The plan is to bring in the New Year with Ujjval-Sonali-Aanya.
• Transition to the sippy cup. Rian was almost there, after Florida. A couple more weeks after the health returns, and we should be good to go, me thinks. My new goal is end of Jan :-) 19 months.
  
• Move to his own room. He's almost there with the sleep training. After we get back from our next vacay, we'll move Rian's crib into his own room. Mommy needs to do some research though, on whether she wants to get Rian's room all decorated/painted/muraled. One part of it is on the way though - a 16 X 24 canvas of Rian's picture. So excited, and looking fwd to receiving it!
  

Co-incidence?

http://rocknroli.wordpress.com/2009/11/20/lil-maestro/

I'm Yours

Yes people, it's an admission. I'm in love. Quoting (and listening to) Jason Mraz, "I'm Yours"... dedicated to Rian.

Since we're talking about love, let me give this masterpiece a permanent place. The "reply" to one of the love quotes I'd collected (when I was still doing my M. Tech), written by Amit:

Original quote:

   Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so
  vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means
  someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these
  defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can
  hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid
  person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you.
  They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you,
  or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes
  hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in
  the darkness, so a simple phrase like 'maybe we should just be
  friends' or 'how very perceptive' turns into a glass splinter working
  its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not
  just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real
  gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

            Rose Walker, in Sandman: The Kindly Ones by Neil Gaman

Amit's reply:

  aaah....then again, you're missing the flip side, aren't you? Let me
  explain....
 
  have you ever been loved? wonderful, isn't it? It makes you so _alive_.
  you go through life like a self possessed maniac, pushing aside
  everybody that stands in your way of what you call goals. then one
  stupid person wanders into your stupid life, and it's not stupid
  anymore.
 
  and she loves you without expecting to be loved back in return. she's
  let down her defences but for once you are absolutely powerless. hurt
  her?  wouldn't even dream of it. you wonder how something so nice could
  possibly fall for a moron like you.
 
  love takes hostage. you live to see that smile on her face. oh anything
  does, as long as you can make her weak in her knees. funny thing, it
  doesn't take too much effort either. you do dumb things like bring home
  a drooping flower and she treats you like you've vanquished the dragon
  of eden.
 
  [true, you didn't ask for it. then again neither would you have got it
  by asking for it. you might even say you don't want it and yet you'll do
  dumber things like kissing her]
 
  It's not imagination. It's not your mind. It breathes. its that real,
  soul-soaking, gets-inside-you-and-fills-you-up-completely feeling of
  utter bliss. i love love. couldn't dream of life without.

  -Amit Butala (circa 2001, @approx 2:00 as he waits for his code to
  compile)

Happy Halloween 2009

Our Calvin with his Hobbes

For a few years now, we've always hosted a party at Halloween. Two year back, we had friends over with costumes, carved pumpkins, watched a couple of scary movies, etc. This is the second year in a row we have not had the party (second Halloween for Rian too - what a co-incidence ;-) ) I guess having a kid changes your life, your priorities, everything. I just hope and pray it does not change our friends ;-) Hope next year we can continue our Halloween tradition.

Rian says: We had an absolutely fun Halloween this year, sans the party. A week before Halloween, we got portraits of me dressed as a tiger, with my Hobbes, done from Picture People. While waiting for the portraits, I enjoyed myself in the play area, a true tiger in the wild experience. The day before Halloween, we had a party in Mummy's office at VMware, with special decorations and treats for the kids. I loved being tiger, and we got some photos with Pooh, Witch, Queen of Spiders, and ran wild in the Enchanted Forest. On Halloween Day, Mummy and Daddy had a lazy start to the day, and then took me to a real farm where we had fun in a pumpkin patch, took a tractor ride, and climbed to the top of a hay stack. Daddy took some nice pictures on the farm too. The day ended with lots of play with Shayona and Namya at Mausami aunty's house where I refused to sleep till midnight. Looked like the Spirit of Halloween had infected me, and every time Daddy tried to put me in the crib, I wailed to the top of my voice even though Hobbes was right next to me.

Runner's High

Taking care of Rian by ourselves on the weekends is like running a marathon. You've gotta have the Runner's High to make it to the end of the day. Of course the journey is filled with wonderful moments and minor set backs, and at the end of the day, you feel the exhaustion as well as exhilaration, and pride that you took another day all by yourself. Rian makes it all worth it, at the end of the day.

Two weeks, and Mommy & Daddy are loving it so far. Let's hope it lasts for a very long time...

Happy Diwali 2009

Wish you all a very Happy Diwali and best wishes for a Prosperous New Year

--Amit, Mamata & Rian.

Diwali 2008 was a quiet one at home, with 3.5 month old Rian, me coping with work + baby, having mom at home to help.

Diwali 2009 was quite the contrary. Our Diwali was lit with celebrations with friends this year. Special friends from Austin, Ujjval - Sonali - Aanya, were with us. Rian loved spending time with Aanya, and even learnt how to use the straw sippy cup from her. The highlight was definitely spending time with friends. Here's our Diwali photo album. Decorating the house has taken a back seat, so no diyas this year. Daddy did painstakingly put up lights for Mommy though, in the front and back patio.

Rian is growing up too fast. This week, he insisted on feeding mummy :) once mummy mistakenly showed him how to do it. Daddy joined the fun too. Rian is starting to doodle now, and interested in pens and papers. Gotta get him those washable crayons before the entire place gets covered in designed scrawls! He's fascinated with magnets, and has learnt some shape sorting too, some on the doodle board, and some on the toy house. Daddy finally got him to like the bubble maker, and he's a cute YouTube video.



Rian now has a table and chair, and Daddy gets him to sit on the chair readily when its time to wear his shoes. Rian also has a new tiger. Now our Calvin has a Hobbes :-) Hope at some point Rian can understand the subtleties and the infinite wisdom in the C&H series.

"Run run run" gets Rian sprinting from one room to another. Of course he loves to run in restaurants too, especially when his parents fall behind. Then again, there are those falls and bruises. Mommy is more prone to get Rian hurt :D but is glad Daddy doesn't strangle her over these. Right now Rian is sporting a bruise on his forehead (left) and has a mark from dash he made in DishDash for a table corner which happened to be coated with metal :-(

On the brighter side, Mommy and Daddy are taking it a bit easy, and even tried taking Rian out on a weeknight. Both agree it was a lot of fun! Hope and pray that fun times last in everyone's household, and all the kids remain happy n healthy.

Super Mom and Super Dad

That's what me and HD have to become: super mom and super dad.

Rian's second Aaji has come and gone. Now its truly life on our own, with no grandparents coming to help us for a long time (by choice). Sincerely hope and pray that Rian will be a good baby, and help his parents get through the long days and long nights with little or no heartburn.

Mommy is taking on all of aaji's responsibilities: mainly planning Rian's meals. Delivery of those is definitely left to Cely for 3 out of 4 meals. Daddy and Mommy tackle Rian's dinner together.

A new symptom called toddlerhood is completely affecting Rian now. Two days before Aaji leaving, Rian decides: now I will eat only if I am allowed to feed myself! So mommy, daddy and aaji have to innovate, and come up with solid foods that Rian can pick up with his own hands and eat. Chicken, you have suddenly become mommy's best friend. Gone is that Rian who would gag at pieces of finger food. On Saturday we witnessed Rian gulping big pieces of pita bread and chicken - of course with some experimentation, repeated attempts, and very colorful clothing as a result. Syndromes were repeated every dinner, and mommy has now learnt how to do clean-up of the entire dinner area in less than 5 mins :-) with so much practice!

Now we're hoping he catches on to this little thing we humans call talking....

Dad's still got it

Daddy is so witty and humorous, but recently mommy has not been spending either quality or quantity time with him, so mommy was happy to know Daddy's still got it ;-) Overheard at dinner with his M.S. advisor Prof and friends:

- Prof shows Rian three fingers, and Rian is filled with glee. Prof says: does he always do that? Daddy says, ya, prime numbers always get him :D hehehehe...

-Prof asks Dad: did he learn how to integrate yet? Daddy says: Not sure, but he's very good at derivatives - he can disintegrate anyone!

It was a case of hives

Last week Rian broke out in red patches of skin rash everywhere on Tuesday. It seemed to get worse on Wednesday and so Daddy took him in to see the doctor. Turns out this was a case of hives. It was basically an allergic reaction to something. After much investigative thinking, Daddy came up with the cause - most probably the lovely pup Eva we met at Antonio-Greg's on the previous Saturday! Rian has patted dogs before, but I believe this one got a bit too close and personal with Rian, licking him when she cornered him in the corridor. Note to self: dogs are very cute and Rian loves them, but don't let them lick Rian.

Rian had an insect bite ~a month back and had a swollen right hand, once again a sign of allergy. Maybe at some point I should get him tested for his allergies. Ah well...

The hives were significantly reduced on Day 3, and completely gone by Day 5. That was a relief, especially after knowing some cases of hives can last upto 6 months!

सव्वा वर्षाचा झाला

रियान काल सव्वा वर्षाचा झाला. बघता बघता वेळ कसा जोरात पळतोय... रियान पण पळतो, खूप खूप पळतो.

रीयानच्या आजीने त्याला फुंकर मारायला शिकवलं. काल पहिल्यांदा त्याने केकची मेणबत्ती स्वतः विझवली. खूप खूष झाला आणि टाळ्या वाजवू लागला :-)

माझा बाळ मोठा होतोय लवकर लवकर.

Regressions

Being a QA engineer for some time now, I am not very fond of regressions. Yet, being a mother, I've gotten very used to seeing these in Rian. Every once in a while, the little one does an about turn on a nice thing he was doing. Sigh.

A few days ago he could imitate sounds of tiger and cow, but he's lost them now. He had started to sleep from 9:30 to 6am and sometimes 7am without interruptions, but he's back to waking up at 2am now :-(

Other mothers tell me this is expected, you need to keep repeating things to them every day. If you stop doing it for two days, they forget!

On the bright side: fellow was very interested in the toothbrush today. I hit the jackpot as I casually slipped the brush into his left hand today, instead of forcing it like usual into his right one. Hon, I think we have a leftie in the family!

How low can you go?

As low as the crib can go! Yes, Rian's crib is now lowered to the lowest setting. It had 4 adjustments, and now we are at the lowest. I had to bend all the way to put this little fella in, and I still dropped him the last 1 inch :D

Rian's first haircut

Date: Saturday, Sept 26, 09
Place: Little Scissors, Fremont, CA

Last look at Rian's curls:



Curls being chopped off while Rian is asleep:



Last few hair length being reduced:



Happy Happy Joy Joy on seeing the "doll":



Proof:



Closeup:

One of our fav C&H

God, I wish Rian can read C&H when he grows up. This is one of our fav!

So many firsts

Today was an amazing day for Rian. There are so many firsts, it
deserves a post!

- Rian napped only 30 mins today afternoon instead of the usual 2-3 hrs and still didn't want to sleep till 9:30pm.
- Rian had fun in the Valley Fair mall play area with other kids and he pushes away other kids, even big kids ;-)
- Rian got his first pair of real shoes, a pair of Pumas, lightweight and Velcro for ease of use. Mom, Dad, Granny maha pleased with it.
- Rian had farmers chicken salad sandwich with sourdough for lunch :-)
- Rian ate his first doughnut and it happened to be Mom and Dad's fav Krispy Kreme.
- Rian can find the balloons and black sheep in his books!
- Rian wore his Halloween costume and totally loved it. He didn't want to get out of it. He was running around with it on.

Time flies

Just realized, Rian has now completed 14 months, and began his smooth sailing into the 15th month today. Wow, time sure flies.

Rian is growing a lot, every day. Its a sad excuse, but I just don't have the time to blog as often as I'd like to. So many things have happened since the last time I've updated this space:

• We got back from NY and my mom came over for her 6-wk short visit. Rian is enjoying grandma's attention, pampering, and new foods now.
  
• Rian loooooooooooooves to eat chicken and chicken soup. We went to San Jose downtown yesterday and Rian feasted on bbq chicken.
• Rian understands many words and phrases now. "Mummy la de", "ikde ye", and many many more.
• Aaji taught him to flutter his eyelids :-) Its too damn cute. When you say "dole kar", he goes flutter flutter.
  
• His kisses are harder to come now, but he'll still occasionally kiss me. If we peep through the gate, we get a sure shot kiss!
• Rian chose what he wanted to wear today :-) He picked his t-shirt from the dresser.
• Ajoba and Aaji would always tell Rian "Bappa la namaskar kar" after his bath. Today he went down to the family room, then Aaji asked him, "Bappa la namaskar kela?" and off he went, up the stairs, on his own, with lightening speed, and stood there, next to Bappa, asking us to pick him up to do jai jai Bappa!
• He's vocalizing a lot more now. He's found his "Pa" sound, and keeps going Pa pa pa pa.
• He's showing a keen interest in eating with his own hands. We just don't have the heart/energy for a clean up of that level yet. I know the ped's not going to be happy to hear this, as Rian is yet to "master" his pincer grasp.
• He loves coming into the kitchen and opening cabinets, and we sometimes let him, supervised of course.
• Rian is in love with Becky, his huge teddy bear. So we gave him a small one too, Bobby. When you tell Rian "Becky barobar gai gai kar", off he goes, snoozes on top of Becky - total drama :-)
• We're having a very tough time feeding Rian on weekends. It seems he's a darling with his nanny Cely and eats foods he stubbornly refuses with us. Sigh, we need help on the weekends to resolve this. It becomes especially interesting if we are outside during his meal times.
• Ever since we got back from NY and Rian got over his cold, our bedtime brushing habit is gone :-( and also Rian is sleeping in a lot more with me and hubby. Since last night, we've decided to reverse both these trends. Wish us luck!

How true

In a New York minute...

... we were back in California again. Seriously. The trip felt "that" short. Enjoyment factor: 100%. Pain factor: well there was some, but most of it was forgotten seeing Rian having fun.

Little did we know that Rian's vomits the night before flying were actually a symptom of his cold. Ped assured us it was a bit of stomach virus and would be over in a day or so, so we continued our journey. Our fwd flight to JFK was a red-eye, and we were hoping to carry a blissfully asleep Rian through the flight with us. But Rian had totally different intentions. Mommy and Daddy didn't get even an hour of shut-eye on the 5-hr red-eye to JFK. On the way to the airport, Rian fell asleep, only to wake up moments before boarding the flight. After that, he remained cranky and oscillated between asleep and awake. That's the time when we discovered he had congestion - so this was a cold :-( and we were going to stay with a 3 year old and an 8 month old sweetheart ... sob sob.

Day 1 in NY was spent recovering from jetlag and cold. Rian was miserable, and we tried to catch up on sleep. We were ready in the evening to go to the park, then buy some milk. Day 2 was catch up day as well, and we had a short trip to a desi restaurant called Tandoor. Yummy kabobs! Day 3 was a Saturday and Aatya had come to meet Rian too. We planned our trip and were actually outside the house very early - at 5pm :D Rian saw Central Park, the Apple store in NY city, and we all had dinner in an awesome place called Sambuca.

We should have listened to Bhai and Bhabhi and taken a cab home. The gaon-wale that we were, we got stuck in the subway for 2 hrs trying to get back on a Saturday night :D when trains were not that frequent. The worst part was temperatures ~105-110F inside the subway stations, waiting for trains. The best part was seeing Rian so excited, soaking in all new things: the trains, the heat, the people, the musicians, the noise. We were exactly under Times Square for almost an hr :D stuck in the subway!

Feel sorry about Kaia who caught a cold :-( and hope she recovers in time for her immunizations. Thanks Aria for sharing your fridge magnets, Rian was in love with them. Also must mention all those doggies that made Rian go "ha ha", and towards the end, everything literally made him go "ha ha" :-) Love the city, must visit at least once a year. But for now, happy to be back home in my gaon!

Part time mother...

... full-time freak?

Sometimes I feel like I'm a part time mother. Except for the first 10 weeks, when I was on maternity leave, living every second with Rian. Now I have to take care of my baby only for a few waking hours every day. Then off I go, to work. Spend 8 hours in a chair thinking sometimes about my babe at home.

The first 10 weeks of life at home with Rian were amazing. They were also the ones with the most ups and downs. Day in and day out, all I was doing was changing Rian's diaper, feeding Rian, and putting him to sleep. After the 8th week, things got a bit rewarding, when Rian started responding to our overtures with beautiful smiles. He used to play a lot in his gym. We'd started going out for park visits.

Through my baby's first year, we were lucky to have my mom and later Amit's parents around to help us. Now that we're planning to fly solo (nanny to take care of Rian), this part time mother wonders how life's going to change. Nervous and excited at the same time, taking on new challenges, bonding more closely with Rian compared to the past few months. No more sleep-ins on Saturday mornings, as we'd have to take care of Rian. Eventually late nights will be out, else we'll be napping with Rian on the weekends :-)

You are my sunshine

... my only sunshine

My dear sweet Rian. You make my mornings shiny bright. Yesterday you woke up before mommy and daddy. You were sitting up, and as you saw Daddy's eyes open, you started clapping your hands with glee! Mom had turned the other side, so you climbed over mom to peek at her face, how cute! Mommy and Daddy asked for kissie, and you obliged with that wide open mouth.

Today mommy and daddy woke up before you did. You opened your eyes and felt mom's hand on you, and followed it, turned towards mom, and gave her the most precious smile. How we love when you squeal with joy, then scurry off to climb the pillow mountain and get on top to touch the wall hanging...

And now some words from U2 for you, my babe:
Baby slow down
The end is not as fun as the start
Please stay a child somewhere in your heart

Mom rules

Yes yes, I rule as Mom ;-) but that aside, many times I feel compelled to write set of rules for moms. So many things learned over the the past year, experienced first-hand by making those golden mistakes... maybe some day I will learn from myself! For what its worth, here goes:

1. If it ain't broken, don't fix it. Seems such an easy one for mom's to follow. But sometimes we're in this "let me experiment" mode. When Rian was ~3 months old, we tried to change his baby wipes on suggestions our friends gave us. Well meaning friends, of course, but all babies are different. We were using Pampers Sensitive Wipes at the time, and a friend recommended using Kirkland wipes - cheaper, stronger, and had "cotton". We also discovered they had less moisture unfortunately, and for that cute young butt, something was not right. Rian had his episode of diaper rash which unfortunately lasted for almost a week. Thanks to Boudreaux Butt Paste, he finally recovered. Yet, mommy chose to make the same mistake again. A week back all was well in brushing land. Rian was happy brushing morning and night. A friend suggested "try the tooty frooty flavor", and off went mommy again, experimenting. Our little fellow absolutely hated it for 3 days. Then it struck me - let me try my plain old toothpaste again, and here he was, a happy baby, letting mommy do brushie brushie.
2. Throw guilt out the window. We live in a complex world, and are always trying to overachieve. Be it lofty goals like "I will catchup with my TODO list today", or "I will spend 3 hours with Rian today", or "I will breastfeed for a year". Its great to have a goal to motivate you, but mommies, please, don't stress yourself out if you can't. Easier said than done, but try to let go and relax. Enjoy the present with your baby. There will always be dishes to do or that teether to buy online or that document you owe your manager. And it will get done when it has to get done.
3. Don't compare. I seriously detest comparison mommies. Many of them will go "Is Rian eating table food yet", "is he walking yet", "oh, mine calls me mummy since she was 9 months old, does yours?". If you're using these as conversation starters, sure. But don't make it the only thing you talk about. There are so many more interesting things to talk about, like what's the latest park you've been to.
   
4. Learn from your baby. Sometimes babies are just not ready to try some things. Take cues from your baby, listen to them. But babies do tend to get into their comfort spots, so when the pediatrician tells you to introduce the sippy cup, that's the time to push your tot.
5. You know your baby best. Even though you may spend just an hour every day with the baby, way less than the baby sitter or day time care person, trust your instincts and believe me when I say you know your baby the best. Take comfort in the fact that you have a special connection, and your baby will tell you what's wrong with him.
6. Dad knows best, too. Dads love to chip in. Moms need to let Dads do it their way. Help them when they ask for it, but in general, don't micromanage them. No one likes that.
   

Any other advice to add to the list, moms & dads?

Rian has left the building

Almost... For almost a week now, Rian can open doors. His intahligant mommy taught him how to carefully open doors: stand on the side, then pull the handle down :D he he he ...

And now mommy's brain is planning to leave too, but not before a coredump -- BEEEEP -- here goes!

Rian now remembers... lots of things! He loves destroying towers of blocks we build for him. He has loads of masti up his sleeve. Check out this YouTube video of Rian and pillows on our love seat.



Rian loves exploring. He dutifully tries to open drawers in Aaji's bedroom and examines every small thing on Aaji's side table. Check out his YouTube video.



Rian sports a cute choti a few mornings, when mommy gets irritated with his long hair going into his eyes.

Rian claps when he's happy :-) It's pretty cute to see it in person. You all are invited! Aaji has taught him "ithe ithe bas re mora" and he can now point with his forefinger. This one is even cuter than Rian clapping, trust me.



2 weeks after he started walking on his own, he's now trying to run ... after geese! We discovered and fell in love with a new Park in Cupertino, Memorial Park. We went there on Saturday and Sunday evening.

Last week Rian surprised us by sleeping from 10 to 6 for a couple of nights. This week, he's back to his usual routine of waking up ~2-3am and we have to live with his kicks after that, in our bed.

Last week we tried to cut down Rian's acid reflux medicine drastically (from 1.7ml/day to 0.5ml/day) and it backfired, as usual. The poor fellow was in misery for at least 3 continuous days as food travelled back up his throat :-( We witnessed an 11pm awakening with loud wails that subsided only 15 minutes after Tylenol made it into his system. After a long time Rian threw up on Daddy's t-shirt. Sigh. Up goes Zantac, to 1.7ml/day.

Rian was up at 4am today, and didn't sleep until 5:15am, and wanted Daddy and Mommy to play with him. Since it was night #2 he was keeping us awake, off he was bundled, to grandpa and grandma. So thankful they are here now, dreading the days when we won't have that support.

Yawn. Gotta sleep now. Almost time for Rian to start doing his wakeup routine!

Chicken pox from the vaccine

Last Thursday (16 July) when we got home, Rian was very cranky and had not had his naps properly. We had noticed some red marks on his legs the day before, and presumed them to be mosquito bites. On closer inspection this day, a random thought came into my mind. It was the 10th day of his 1 year vaccines (given on 7th), and I remember the doctor mentioned we may see a rash from the MMR. I thought this was related to measles. It completely skipped my mind that he received Varicella as well. We called PAMF after hours nurse support.

Usually the advice nurses are very good, but this time around it took forever to speak to one, she didn't have Rian's record in front of her, asked me tons of questions about this "rash", and the conversation wasn't very nice. Meanwhile Amit had given Rian some Tylenol, so baby had his dinner without incident and had seemed to calm down quite a bit. We missed the urgent care window by 10mins, and decided to monitor Rian overnight on our own. The next day was Friday and was WFH so I could monitor the little fellow and take him to urgent care if required. Since he was fine throughout the day, albeit a bit cranky, we decided to skip the visit to the pediatrician.

On Friday night though, one red spot on his leg and one on his right hand seemed to be full of "water" and the one on his leg burst. Now we were concerned, and got an appt for Saturday morning 10:30am. The doctor (Amy Henegan) was very nice to us and explained this was classic chicken pox from the vaccine, a 1 in 100 chance. She handed us some anti-biotic ointment to prevent infection of those boils. Since the virus is attenuated for the vaccine, this chicken pox does not spread to healthy people. Phew, what a relief!

Today Rian is getting much better, and the boils have reduced in size. They're still there though, and the one on his hand burst and made a big wound :-( My brave babe is taking the boo boo quite well, I should add. A few 6am wakings :-) and a few low grade fevers asides, he's my sweet little pumpkin. Get well soon, meri jaan.

Sleepwalking

A couple of nights ago, I was exhausted from work and an early morning, and hit the pillow at 10:30am, alone. Rian was asleep in his crib since 9:30pm. Amit was watching TV and later working, downstairs. When Amit came upstairs at 11:30pm, he saw: Rian and me stuck to each other in bed :-) and pillows neatly stacked on Amit's side of the bed so Rian doesn't roll-off!

Till date I have no recollection of even waking up to get Rian from the crib. Even in my sleepwalking episode, I was so cautious that I stacked pillows ;-) I'm impressed with my own maternal instints.

Walking toddler

It's been two weeks since Rian took those first few steps unassisted. Suddenly a day after his birthday party, Rian just decided to start walking... all by himself... 30 steps, and more. And now he's all over the place. He never once wants to crawl anymore :-) Here's a YouTube video of Rian Butala crawling.

In these two weeks, Rian has also lost almost all his baby fat :-( I can feel his bones now when I hug him. Eh my poor little sweet thing, please don't grow up so fast... slow down...

[Edit on 7/15/09]: Since Monday 7/13/09, Rian is also on a new sleep & wake-up routine: we are brushing his teeth at night after his milk, and in the morning before his breakfast. Rian does not get any milk in the middle of the night now.

Rian now has 6 pearly whites :-)

Rian's first birthday party

We celebrated Rian's first birthday party at Las Palmas Park in Sunnyvale, on Saturday 11 July '09 with a lunch party. We booked the recreation building in the park. This park holds a special place in my heart: this is the park where Rian gave us his widest grins and smiles for the first time. A lot of our guests mentioned to us that the loved the venue. Little kids could roam around in the park and many had their food outside.

We catered food from Turmeric restaurant. They delivered it to the park in big black insulated boxes. This avoided the need for "burners" and stands for the food trays, and no "burnt" spots in the food. Personally I loved the food and was drooling for it from the day we had the menu decided. We had spinach and aloo tikki (green) and veg manchurian balls (pink) for starters. The chef threw together this excellent salad with sprouted moong beans, cherry tomatoes and strawberry pieces, with sweet chutney thrown around. Everyone was crazy about it. There was some raita and chutneys too. The main dishes were koftas in chutney gravy, spinach and corn, panchratna daal, naan, pulav with peas and almond slices.

The cake was ordered from Amia Bakery. We got a quarter sheet of Tres Leche cake with mango pieces in it. For our special friends, we also had a 6" eggless cake of the same flavor.

The evite stated 11:30am to 2:30pm but surprisingly people came in much later than we expected. We were hoping to cut the cake at 12:30pm but I think that's when we got started with appetizers. The cake was next as we wanted to finish it before Rian got cranky or sleepy. He was pretty much a happy baby except for all the crying he did just when the cake was being cut and that's how all his pictures are :-) Cely helped us a lot, mainly taking care of Rian and then later in the cleanup phase as well. Aaji Ajoba helped feed Rian. Sometimes I wonder: what exactly was I doing in the birthday party?? Daddy helped setup the place, along with our close friends who helped decorate: thanks a lot guys...

Thank you all for the wonderful wishes and the thoughtful gifts. Rian will be getting them one at a time, to avoid gift overload. FYI Rian loved pulling the wrappers off of his gifts :-)

I'm in love...

...in love, with you, my babe. You give me the warm fuzzies with your wide grin and gleeful giggles. You melt my heart with the slightest frown. That trickle of tears turns me inside out. You make me so proud, you are my shining star as you tranform into a toddler and do your unstable dance. One call and mommy is all yours. I love how you go to sleep on me, your face nestled in my neck. Time, please freeze and let these moments last forever. It's as if you were waiting to hit the one year mark: Now you are speeding toward all new milestones!

Early to rise

Rian woke up at 4:30am for his midnight feed. I prepared the formula, Amit fed him and put him back in his crib. Typically Rian wakes up ~6-6:30am and then I drag him back to our bed, for 2 more hours of snooze time. Today Rian woke up at 6am, but by the time I went to get him from his crib, he was wide awake. Last night I came in after Rian went to bed (beauty parlor appt), and Rian was so excited to see me, he was all smiles and coos :-) cho chweet. I tried to rock him back to sleep, and I usually succeed within 5-10 mins. No such luck today.

30 minutes into rocking, lullabies, silent prayers, some cursing under my breath, and the little one was still awake and giving me the most cute and wide grins. I put him down on my chest and I was lying in bed. Once in a while, he'd pick his head up, come to my lips, pucker his lips and give me a kiss and a wide wide smile :-) Oh I was melting inside ... he he he ...

Finally I gave in to sleep, and handed Rian over to his grandparents at 6:30am for an hr and a half more of sleep. Sigh, missed out on our play time with Rian this morning. Gotta go home & make up for it!

For the record, Rian didn't go back to sleep even after his grandparents tried very hard today. I think he took a morning nap today after mommy & daddy went for work ~9:45am. Reflecting back on this, I was thinking: this is my last month of having Rian's grandparents around. After that I guess I'll be up with Rian at 6am :-) Scary thought!

Baby registry

I compiled a list of all baby items for a registry for dear friend of mine. What better place to share it than here, so here goes Copy-Paste :-) from my email.

Some are TODOs:

• Cocoa butter – stretch marks prevention. Start using around now. It didn’t help me but apparently it helps quite a few people.
• Cord blood – You want to do this early. Figure out if you want to store or donate. We had planned to donate it but we were not qualified. Donate here: http://www.cryo-intl.com/
• Babies R Us: My registry is still online. That was my “shopping list”. I often went back and edited it to keep it in sync with what I bought for Rian. Anyways I have some recommendations below too. Start looking from here http://www.toysrus.com/shop/index.jsp?categoryId=3200390. Create a registry online or in-store. I heard there are some benefits of in-store registry: some coupons & stuff. Sign up for their coupons in-store. These are different from the online coupons. Also sign up for email deals.
• Watch Happiest Baby on the Block DVD – library or Amazon
• Watch In the Womb – Nat Geo DVD – library or Amazon
• Invest in a Medela or borrow from a friend, then get it tested here: http://www.elcaminohospital.org/Womens_Hospital/Pregnancy_Childbirth/Mother_Baby_Store/. I had http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2815290, this is the newest one http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2901995 and this one required medela feeding bras which are too expy http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3214492.
• Sign up for classes for delivery and breastfeeding.
• In the first week, meet with a lactation consultant – I can’t tell you how useful it was, even though Rian had latched and my milk had come in.

Here go recommendations:

Baby Gear:

• Car seat & stroller: we had Graco Metrolite – lightest travel system that Graco has. Two cars? Get a second base if spouse will be doing some doctor visits. In reality: we used our second base maybe 10 times, but loved having the convenience. Once installed, if you don’t have LATCH in your car, the bases are a pain to re-install. Get some toy bar for car seat. I’d recommend looking into Combi. We recently bought Rian a Combi stroller and its very light weight. Heard that Combi has infant car seats that fit in this stroller too. You can do a stroller frame and an infant car seat too, but personally I found it useful to have a “cover” on the baby which the travel system gives me.
• Baby carrier: I can’t stop saying enough about this one, it’s a life saver. I’ve used it since Rian’s 5th week of life, and still use it. I did a lot of research before buying this, and I can tell you it has saved our back and a lot of pain in life. http://www.ergobabycarrier.com/. I picked it up from http://tinytots.com/ in Campbell.
• Play yard: Since we have 2 functioning levels @ home, used a Graco play yard (pack n play) with a removable bassinet and on-board changer. Used this a lot in our family room.
• Gym: Rian started using a gym for tummy time and for lying on his back and music. I had the baby Einstein one and Rian loves it. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2736587
• Bouncer: We bought this bouncer http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2265002 and Rian still loves playing with it. Another alternative is an infant to toddler rocker http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3247576
• Swing: there are many types of swings but I got this one http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2265072. Basically I wanted something with a removable tray. I’ve never used the tray and there are cribs for which you cannot remove the tray – that’s just bad engineering IMHO. Travel swings are an option but I knew we wouldn’t move the crib around. Plus a full swing gives you 2 motions.

Infant Care:

• 12 burp cloths & 12 bibs
• Some cloth diapers – multi-use soft cotton cloths. (get from India)
• Lap pads - (get from India)
• Nipple cream – get Lansinoh or Mother Love (whole foods)
• Breast pads
• Feeding bras – I used the $12-$15 ones from Target. I had a size change too sometime in between. Best to buy one pair for the hospital. Then you should go again in a week after the milk comes in.
• Storage for Breast milk from pumping – I got 3 packs of these containers http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2815289. Absolutely useful, BPA-free. Now I use them for Rian’s formula (pre-measured), his cereal, and soon will use for his finger food too.
• Nursing pillow – I had Boppy with a cotton cover
• Nursing wrap – I had this http://www.bebeaulait.com/ - definitely recommend this over just using cloth as it has a “stand” collar so you can see and position baby. Also makes the cloth “stand” so it does not stick to baby’s face. Rian could not tolerate any sensation of touch on his face else he’d start rooting.
• Bottles – Get BPA-free polypropelene or glass. I have 4 3.5oz glass bottles – sufficient for first 3 months. Then I bought 8oz polyprop ones. We used Dr. Brown’s. I’ve heard learning curve breastflow makes transition between breast and bottle (and back – for working moms) easier. I wish I had used these – call me for related story, too long to type. You may need premie nipples. Rian used premie nipples first 3 or 4 months, then we switched him to size 1. I guess every baby is different. Also buy Dr. Brown’s bottle cleaning brush - doesn’t matter what bottle you buy, this brush has a stand that makes the sponge dry – less bacteria breeding. Sterilization is not required – I did it like once a month if we felt like it. You can boil or use this electric one. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2970575.
• Get a booster like this http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2861764 instead of a high chair. Portable, can strap on anywhere, and can carry to restaurants. We have a rainforest one.
• High chair cover: http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3436925 when you go to restaurants. Rian chews on the chairs.
• Bath tub – I used this one no problems. http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=10727396.
• Get 6 washcloths and 3-4 towels.
• In case you have a baby boy, get like 15-20 of these http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3504785 cheap washcloths or you can use cloth diapers – this is to cover their pee pee when you open the diaper – they squirt ?
• Johnson’s baby wash – yellow and pink. Winter baby, consider getting this http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2440135 especially if prone to dry skin.
• Few bath toys – small rubber duckies work well.
• Nail clippers – I have http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2792506.
• Hair brush – the American red cross one is very nice.
• Baby Oil – Johnson’s
• Baby massage book – http://www.amazon.com/Loving-Hands-Traditional-Baby-Massage/dp/1557043140/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top
• Teethers – 3,4 different kinds
• Pacifiers – experiment, buy BPA-free
• Digital thermometer – I have something like this http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2449560. Big read out and soft tip for reading rectal temp.
• Humidifier – I have a cool mist humidifier. Also serves dual purpose of being a white noise machine. Helps baby sleep longer. Must buy for winter baby. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2266321.
• Infant Tylenol (Grape flavor), Mylicon, Little Colds Baby Rub, Trivisol (doctor will tell you this @ 2 month check if baby is breastfeeding), gripe water (from India).
• Diaper crèmes: Big 14oz dubba of Aquaphor, 16oz dubba of A+D cream – apply alternately @ diaper changes to keep rash away. In case rash happens, use Boudreaux’s Butt Paste. Keep small tubes of these in the diaper bag.
• Socks & mittens: get lots of pairs from India.
• Diapers: Pampers swaddlers from Newborn to size 2. After that, you should experiment with Huggies too, as Pampers cruisers tend to bunch up at least for baby boys.
• Wipes: I’ve always used Pampers sensitive wipes. There are wipes with “natural cotton” and Rian got a rash with those. YMMV, some people love these. After baby gets onto formula and poop isn’t sweet smelling anymore, we switched to Pampers Swipers scented wipes. You can carry one of the “refill packs” in your diaper bag, never need those travel wipes cases – they’re useless and only carry 5-6 diapers anyways.
• Diaper bags: your choice. Also get a couple from India. It may have a changing pad. Get a few changing pads from India to put all over the house.
• Diaper pail: Baby Trend Diaper Champ http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3491391. You can use the Costco liners inside these, no need to buy costly refills. Contains smell pretty well.
• Baby monitor – we have Fisher Price 900 MHz – very good. http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Long-Distance-900MHz-Monitor/dp/B000I5RF8C/ but I got it for $38 from Walmart.
• Gates – we have two of these. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2909941.
• Get CO monitors from Costco – two pack.
• Outlet covers, corner guards, egde guards as required. Depends on how mobile baby is @ 6 months.

Nursery:

• Crib: Drop-side cribs are convenient but there have been too many recalls on those. Personally I didn’t find them sturdy enough. We bought a solid wood one from Amazon in Cherry color to match our bedroom furniture http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000FT7NXS. You can pick out a crib set of your choice. I had a “sea life” theme going with all my stuff.
• Changing table: we bought a changing pad with a cover and put it on top of our dresser. After 6 months babies become too mobile anyways, so we didn’t think buying a separate changing table was worth the money or space.
• Crib mobiles and toys. I have http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2299139 and old version of this http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3565464.
• You may want to invest in a rocking chair. I used my rocker/recliner a lot in early months to put baby to sleep.
• Crib mattress, mattress pad
• Receiving blankets – at least 4. You can get colorful ones from India. Also need Swaddle Me or something like that when receiving blanket swaddle does not work.
• Nursery décor
• Storage solutions. I got the 3 drawer plastic chests from Walmart. Also have some 4 drawer chest from Ikea. Also helps to have the small three drawer chest for items like nail clippers, combs, medicine syringes. Also have a 4 drawer plastic chest for socks, bibs, burp cloths, etc

Clothing and layette:

• Sets of onesies – they come in 5 packs. 0-3 months ka one pack, 3-6 months ka one pack etc. We found onesies very convenient for diaper changes. Get long handed onesies. Sometimes you get onesie and pant sets.
• Get a few body suits since its winter.
• Get a couple of wearable blankets.
• Caps, socks, mittens (socks mitten sets from India)
• Koala baby or Robeez soft soled booties http://www.amazon.com/Robeez-Infant-Toddler-Circles-Pastel/dp/B00119T5CI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=shoes&qid=1246925217&sr=8-1

Toys:

• These are subjective – pick what you like.

Doctor doctor...

It was Rian's one year check up today and we were, as usual, ready with our barrage of questions. We met Dr. Harry Dennis as our pediatrician Dr. Linda Strain was on leave. Dr. Dennis was very patient and answered all our questions. Rian got 4 shots today :-( sob, sob! As usual Daddy distracted him from the pain and all was fine in wonderland after 10 mins of motorboat motorboat go so fast!

Rian's doing well and growing well. He took his first bottle of cow's whole milk today. We'll see how his tummy treats it, then go full force with whole milk, no more formula!

Rian also needs to start brushing his teeth now, twice daily. Mommy will start with Rian too :-) Oh come on, I mean about the night time brushing. Of course Mommy brushes in the morning :D

Happy first birthday, Rian

It's your very first birthday, Rian,
One candle on your cake;
Proud parents stare in wonder
At each new move you make.

We join in celebration,
As this special date arrives,
For Rian has brought pleasure
Into all our lives.

We look forward now to seeing
How you progress and grow,
From the cute and tiny infant
You were one year ago.

So dig into your icing;
Enjoy your presents, too.
The reason for this day
Is a special person--you!

By Joanna Fuchs

Ready or not... Here comes Rian

I'm writing this post from memory, almost a year later, on 7/6/09. I still remember everything that happened, leading up to Rian's birth, crystal clear in my mind.

30 June

This was my 36 week check with my nurse practitioner, and she announced to us that my cervix had completely thinned out. She warned me to wrap up all my work @ office this week, and hand over everything I had on my plate, which was totally echoed by my boss Aleksey. When I checked with Mausami, she mentioned this happened to her too, at the 36th week, but Mausami delivered Shayona in the 41st week, so I was under the impression that I had time. Per my schedule, 11 July was going to be my last working day. I had planned 2 weeks of leave before my EDD of 28 July.

4 July

My mom came from India on 1 July, and was just about getting over her jetlag. Amit and I were eager to go out somewhere as the long weekend had just started. But mom insisted that we pack the hospital bag. With tidbits of house work here and there, we managed to get the hospital bags (yes, we had two!) packed by 11pm. Then we all relaxed.

5 July

Eager to get out and have some fun, we targetted to go for a long drive along CA-1. We stopped at a couple of beaches, then finally reached Santa Cruz beach. We rested and napped in the beautiful sun, on mats. And then it was back home. Amit was experimenting with his new 50mm lens that he bought in preparation for baby's arrival, and took some super cute photos of me.

6 July

It was a lovely Sunday morning, a 3-day weekend well spent, and a whole day to rest. 9am: The moment I got up from the bed, I felt something, fluid... wet... something like a heavy period... watery... hmm... Hello maxipads, tring tring Dr. Swenson (my OB). Sweetest and most patient OB on earth, she explained to me that my water bag had broken. Since I wasn't feeling any pain, she guessed there were no contractions. This was 3 weeks and one day ahead of schedule. She advised me to go for some walks and try to see if we can get the contractions started on our own, and check in to the hospital in 3-4 hours. I was concerned as I had heard we should "rush" to the hospital if the water breaks. Delivery had to "finish" within 24 hours of water break. The hospital would make sure baby was out before 9am on 7 July by C-section if required. Amit calmed my nerves and asked me to follow along with Dr. Swenson's plan.

Mom had just woken up too. Knowing Mom, Amit had an idea that she would panic. So he just told her to get ready and have breakfast, we were going to Costco to buy some essentials. She was a bit curious, but didn't say anything about all the hurry we were in. Thankfully she had a good night's sleep the night before, and was also refreshed.

Meanwhile, I took a shower and had my breakfast. I'd started feeling nervous already. It was too soon, I wasn't ready in my mind. I hadn't painted the baby room. I had one more work week and 2 weeks of rest planned ahead. OTOH, we were well prepared:

• the car seat was installed and checked,
  
• the crib was assembled and bedding was installed,
  
• the stroller was ready,
  
• the hospital bag was packed,
  
• Rian's essential clothes (and even non-essential ones) were washed and neatly folded
• the bouncer was assembled,
• the crib was assembled,
• we had diapers, diaper cream, cloth diapers,
  
• the bottles were washed,
• we had bath essentials,
• we had the dress to bring baby back home in,
• we had a name for the baby that all of us were happy with.
  

Finally ~10am Amit gave the news to Mom. She was excited, nervous, and was panicking just like me :-) Billy and Lilly had given us a tree sampling to plant the previous Saturday on their wedding day (28 June). I knew I wouldn't have time for it after we got home, so I took Mom's help and planted the tree. Since Dr. Swenson actually wanted me to walk, off we went to Costco. An hr later, still no pain. Hence we assumed: no contractions. Amit suggested some more walking @ Shoreline Lake. The weather was perfect for a stroll. We finished with lunch at the cafe there, and started driving to the hospital.

2:30pm: We checked into the hospital and were lucky to get into a Labor & Delivery room, they had just one more remaining after checking us in. Immediately, they had all the monitors connected to my tummy. Turns out I was having contractions all the time, and they were three minutes apart! They started asking me about pain, and that's when it hit me: I had some pain in my back - nothing in my abdomen, but periodic pain in my back. Now I feel foolish to have missed it in the first place. I never thought I'd have cramps in the back instead of pain in the abdomen. The attending OB came in to see me, and it was my lucky day - Dr. Swenson, my own OB was on call. She assured me she would deliver my baby before she went off of her shift :-)

I was 3cm dialated. They checked with an ultrasound to see the baby had engaged in the pelvis and was in the correct position. I suspect his face was up and his back was down - which is why I had back labor. But the OB told me everything was "normal" and not to worry about it. They asked me about pain management, and my plan. I was open to the epi, but wanted to try IV painkillers first to see if that would help with the pain. In any case, at this point I was feeling very little pain.

They started me on Pitocin via IV since the OB wanted to increase the intensity of my contractions. The nurse asked me if I wanted some anti-vomiting medication. Since I wasn't feeling nauseous, Amit and I both decided to hold off on it. I started watching Shrek 3 on the TV screen in the room. (For the record: the movie sucked). Then the Pitocin effect kicked in and the pain mounted. We tried all the breathing techniques. Amit inflated my exercise ball and we labored on the ball for a bit.

4:30pm: I asked for the IV painkiller. In 10 mins, I was floating away in no man's land as if I'd downed an entire wine bottle. The pain sure dulled, but it didn't go away. We tried different positions, but help wasn't coming.

5:30pm: I asked to check how dialated I was. Since my water had broken, they were reluctant to check me for fear that they'd introduce infection. Anyways, they checked and I was still 3cm. I could not believe it. 3 hrs and quite some pain later I was still at 3cm. The pain was wearing down on me. I asked for the epidural. The anesthesiologist had just been called into another room, so I had to wait for ~25 mins. I think those were the worst 25 mins of the pain. Amit tried to distract me from the pain, Mom was being her usual sweet self too. Nausea was kicking in. Just before the anesthesiologist came in, I threw up. Now, I'd never thrown up my entire pregnancy, and here I was, epidural guy waiting behind me, and the throw up just would not stop! It was embarassing.

This was probably a resident at Stanford. I believe he had a supervisor too, overlooking his work. He started to read out all the disclaimers and possible side effects to me. I was so upset I told him "I know all these things, now can you just give me the epidural?" I'm sure he was skilled in dealing with women like me :-) He said to me in a firm voice "You may be aware of these but I am required to tell you, and as you can see I'm prepping you in parallel without wasting any time!" :-) Fine, point taken.

6:30pm: The epidural was in. I was now lying flat on the bed, oxygen mask on my nose to make my breathing easier. The pain was vanishing away. I had started to mentally and physically relax. From what I had read and heard in the classes and from my friends, 3cm to 7cm can take the longest, even upto 12 hrs. I thought of taking a nap.

7:15pm: The nurse checked on me and I was already 7cm dialated. We were all very surprised at how quick this went, from 3cm to 7cm after the epidural. The nurse told me that it could still be a while. She told me I'd reach 10cm, and then I'd feel an urge to push. She warned me NOT to push. Amit and mom had been with me for ~5hrs and they had no caffeine. So I asked Amit to go to the cafeteria and grab some coffee/tea, but keep his cell phone near him.

7:30pm: I felt it. I felt the urge to push! I panicked. Amit was out of the room. I called him back from wherever he was. This was way too soon! We paged the nurse. She came in and sternly told me NOT to push. She started prepping to deliver the baby. I couldn't believe it was going to happen. They alerted the doctor.

7:45pm: The doctor came in and gave me an okay to start pushing. The nurse helped me and encouraged me to "find" the contraction myself. There was no pain and I could feel each contraction. When I'd identify it, she would confirm from the electronic screen and then would ask me to push. 5 to 6 pushes later, it looked very promising and Rian's head could be seen. The doctor had a C-section, which she postponed - she wanted to make sure she delivered my baby first. All hands were on deck. Amit suggested we get a mirror so I'd see the head - encourage me to keep pushing. I confirmed with him: will I get grossed out, or will it truly encourage me. He said, trust me, you wouldn't want to miss looking at this. They also made me touch the head. Several pushes later, 45 mins after I'd started pushing, Rian Butala arrived in this world. 8:26pm. He weighed in at 6lb 3oz, 18.5 inches tall. I held onto Rian, the new love of our life.

It was amazing to have delivered Rian within 6 hrs. Thanks to Amit, Dr. Swenson, Mom and nurse Cecilia for all the help and encouragement. A truly memorable and life changing day for all of us.

(Written almost a year later, from memory, on 7/6/09)

Bye Bye Baby

A day before his birthday, Rian amazed us with one more milestone: he waved bye bye :-) Daddy was with him, outside our tent cabin in Yosemite valley (Curry Village), and Daddy was teaching him how to wave good bye. That's when I was returning from a shower, and he waved me bye bye :-) Good job, Rian... and great job Daddy.

TODO list

Being a list junkie, I have lists for everything. For what it's worth, here's a list of blogs I'd like to finish in the next week, to commemorate Rian's first birthday:

1. 5 things I love about being a mom (Tag by Richa)
2. The gory details about giving birth to Rian
3. All the things I'm thankful for, since Rian came into our lives

Well, good luck to me :-) And let me know if I should "add" to this list.

Somewhat of an "expert"

Being a mom has made me a store of knowledge. I've learned a LOT from Rian as a baby, and am still learning from Rian as a toddler. I'm somewhat of a research junkie, and have done a lot of research in my pregnancy and early baby days, to add to the pool. Lots of notes from classes, fav internet links, I have a store of them physically and mentally and electronically.

Lots of new mommies (work colleagues, friends) have been asking me questions and suggestions - formula, sleep problems, newborn questions. I also learn new things in the process of discussion. Its so nice to be able to share everything I've learn from Rian. I always thought I could document all these little tidbits on the blog, but life had its own agenda I guess, and I can't kept up with the blog as often as I'd like to.

Newborns are so tender and vulnerable. They want you to hold them, coz that's what they're used to, the feeling of being inside mommy's womb. The first week is pure bliss, and the second week is frustrating, with baby unable to sleep, nursing problems, jaundice and blah. Swaddling baby was my solution to make baby feel cozy. We swaddled Rian for a month and a half for all sleep and naps. Later, mom gave up the swaddle for his naps, and we kept it for his night sleep till he was almost 4 months old. In retrospect, I should have given up the swaddle ~3 months. I kept it for a month more for personal sanity and more sleep ;-) as it took some time to get Rian used to sleeping without swaddling.

I'd highly recommend getting the DVD "Happiest baby on the block" from your nearest public library and watching it. The 5 S principles are good tools to have in your toolbelt. "Loving Hands: The Traditional Art of Baby Massage" was the book I turned to for Indian massage with full page pictures, written by a western author. It was very helpful as my mom too had no idea how to massage the baby. The "swaddle me" products from Kiddopotamus were helpful for us when Rian fought the manual swaddle I'd make with receiving blankets. Swaddling helped Rian sleep better with his reflux too.

I still remember our run to the ER on day 12. I thought Rian wasn't breathing well, and the nurse on the phone counted more than 60 breaths. Textbook and "procedure" had her directing us to the nearest ER. Stanford ER was probably overstaffed :D and they just would not let us go. We ended up spending 3am to 7am in the ER, terrified. Now I look back and laugh at the incident. Had I know newborns try to adjust their breathing patterns in the second week, I may have reacted differently.

If/when we have the second baby, it'll be so easy :-) no more long "lists" to prepare for baby, I'll know what we need like the back of my hand.

Rian's first steps

Rian started walking! Unassisted! He took 5 steps today without holding on :-) It just happened out of the blue. Rian was playing in the family room and me, hubby and FIL were looking on. He cruises from the sofa to the center table to his bouncer, holding on. This time around, he went from the center table to the bouncer, NO HANDS! 3 separate, very confident steps!

We could not believe what we saw, none of us spoke for a few seconds. It seems I broke the silence and said "Did Rian just walk on his own?" :-) And that was that... celebrations galore. Daddy was "walkie walkie" all the time, and he'd hold Rian with one hand, then let go as Rian came closer to mommy. Rian walked to mommy - 5 steps - on his own - at least three separate times...

We're calling it :-) Rian's officially started walking. He surprised his Aaji with this gift on her birthday (29 June '09).

Get up, stand up

Rian has been pulling up to a stand since a week after he learnt how to crawl. That was right around 8.5-9 months timeframe. Since then Rian has gotten more and more mobile and creative: cruises around the family room, goes up the stairs, brings down all our DVDs :-) etc

Lately Rian has taken to walking with support. If you want a grin from this little fellow, just give him one finger in each hand, and he literally walks all over the house, tirelessly, from dawn till dusk, leading you. Now he even wants to climb up stairs like mommy and daddy, one foot on a stair and push up! Now Aaji is experimenting giving him just one finger instead of two!

Today was a sort of a milestone, and experienced by Dad. Rian was playing with Dad and was sitting. Out of nowhere, he got on his fours and magically managed to stand up without support! He was standing for 30-40 seconds at least. I think it's safe to say now that "Rian can stand on his own" :-)

Nails Be Gone

When we first brought Rian home, I was terrified of one task that I was entrusted with: cutting his nails. I mostly kept Rian in mittens to avoid dealing with cutting his nails. Because of his reflux, we had many doctor appointments in the first month, not all with the same doctor. Every doctor we met, I would ask: any tips for cutting his nails? I'm sure all of them thought I was so dumb!

And look at you now, how you've grown my little one. You're almost one, and the kiddie nail cutter is now refusing to cut your nails :-)

When you were little, you'd nod off to sleep while having milk in mommy's arms. I'd cut the nails of your left hand if you were on the right side of me. Now you have to be completely asleep and on the bed. I have to use a flashlight and be as quiet as possible. I dare not cut any skin, dare not tickle your feet... And mom's weekly assignment becomes a success!

The first Daddy's Day

Amit was a total jerk on Mother's Day, making fun of the "days" to be celebrated throughout the year. So I was pretty mad at him and had almost decided not to do anything special for Daddy's Day. But I remembered: this is from Rian to Daddy, I'm just Rian's proxy for now :-)

Amit has been a wonderful Dad from Day 1, he's been the best Dad possible for Rian. Here are all the things Rian is very thankful for, and he remembers these on Daddy's Day.

1. For giving mommy awesome foot massages while I was in her tummy. Daddy you made me tickle every time!
2. For taking very good care of mommy and pampering her all throughout her pregnancy. I'd sometimes make her very edgy but you took very good care of her and loved her in all her moods, and I'd immediately feel the calm inside her :-)
3. After I came home, Daddy did all my diaper changes for the first whole week, being home from work. Not only that, Daddy did all diaper changes whenever he was home, for a while. Special thanks for all those cheesy stories and lovely butt massages that you provided while doing diaper changes. Special thanks for never shying away from the lovely poo poo that I make.
4. For supporting mommy everytime she had to pump. It was very taxing for her, all the pumping, but thanks to your support and encouragement, mommy could feed me her milk till I was 8 months old.
5. For the lovely massages you gave to me before bath time. You tickled me and teased me and massaged me and I was a "glowing baby" thanks to you.
6. For the innovative pose for feeding me milk and rocking me - on your legs. There was no other way I'd have milk. Also for all the times when Aaji, Mom had given up and I was being a "baa baby" not having my milk, you rocked me on your feet and I was easy peasy and had my milk.
7. For all the mid-night wakings that I cause you since my sixth month, ever since you started supporting mommy at night: first to stop my mid-night feedings, then to save mommy's sanity and field me for half the night.
8. For all the hard work you do on all my gear: assembling my crib, my stroller, my bouncer, my swing, my exersaucer, my playyard, and last but not the least - keeping me safe in the car seats.
   
9. For keeping all my electronics functioning at all times by charging and changing batteries promptly when they run out.
10. For providing me constant entertainment, and now sitting through dinner time with me, reading me books and singing nursery rhymes to me.
    
11. For doing my last diaper change of the day - that's Daddy's diaper change, and I give him hell :-) for this one.
12. For helping mom with the research, and jumping in when she needs your help deciding on whether to buy A or B. Must say my carrier (Ergo) is the best.

Anyways, so that was Rian, now passing the mic (erm, keyboard) back to me. I prepared for Daddy's Day a month in advance, so I wouldn't be caught empty handed. I gave Amit a custom frame with Rian's name on it, with some lovely words on it.

MY DADDY'S HAND

Daddy, Take my hand in yours and you will plainly see,
How very much I need you now to love and care for me.
As my little hand grows, I will need you even more,
Everything I do in life, I have never done before.
Teach me to be kind and loving, sharing and forgiving,
Show me through your acts of love the pure joy of living.
The years will pass by quickly and one day I will be grown,
I will pass what you have taught me onto children of my own.
Hold me always in your thoughts and remember when we are apart,
The special love between a child and a daddy's heart.

Love, Rian

Thanks to Mausami's research, I also booked Amit for a 3hr spa package, Oasis. Amit was very very reluctant at first, and refused to go for it. After a lot of convincing and passing some messages back and forth between Rian and Daddy (you see, I am Rian's voice right now :D), Amit was finally convinced to go. When he got back, he had the widest grin on his face, and was smelling wonderful the whole day thanks to the aromatherapy oils. He relaxed in the afternoon with a nap when Rian was napping.

We went to Las Palmas park in the evening with Daddy, Aaji and Ajoba and of course Mommy too. Had fun loooking at the parrots, tried to make Rian walk in the cold water, took some awesome photos. It was only fitting that we order Daddy's favorite for dinner: desi chinese. He totally loved it! All in all, I was very satisfied with the way I planned the day, and thankful as Amit enjoyed it every bit.

Rian adds: I think Daddy is such a hard working Daddy, he deserves a day like this once in a while!

(Written on 6/29/09)

Starry starry night

That's how I can best describe the first night Rian went camping with us. Last weekend (Saturday night), we camped at Pinnacles National Monument's campground. There were 4 tents in 2 campsites. We had company: Amit's parents, Rachana, Jayesh, Parv, Mausami, Gunjan and Shayona. We had awesome food: sandwiches and bhel mix for dinner, followed by corn on the cob and smores as supper/dessert!

This was Rian's first time camping, and it was also a first for Rian's grandpa. Rian was super excited as he saw mom and dad toil around from 9am to 3pm, hustle and bustle, to get us packed and out the door. The days activities also came along: breakfast, Rian's bath, Rian's breakfast, lunch, our showers, and coffees and lunch. Amit's mom made lunch @ home for us. The poor little beemer sedan could not handle the luggage that 4 adults and a baby resulted in, when car camping :-) Luckily Mausami-Gunjan gave us a break by offering to carry some of our stuff for us. Thanks guys, because of you, we were saved from renting for 2 days. It's times like these when I wish we had a bigger car, but for now I'm happy with friends that have big cars too :-)

We timed the drive so Rian could sleep in the car while we got there. Rian woke up in an hr but thankfully went back to sleep. I think he finds his new car seat (Britax Marathon) very comfortable. Anyways, so we reached the place around 4:30 or so and paid for registration. The guys started putting up the tents and the girls were trying to help (trust me, I was!). The store closes at 6pm, so the guys bought firewood from the store. We put up tents (one for us, one for Amit's parents), while grandparents watched over Rian. Rian seemed to have had the most fun during this time: he was playing in his play yard with a few of his fav toys, and Shayona and Parv on the outside.



What did we forget on this trip? Rian's medicines. I didn't have his Tylenol, Mylicon or his regular Zantac. I guess I need to make a small first aid box for Rian, and carry it with our first aid kit from now on.

Finally we were done putting up 2 tents: one for the 3 of us, and one for the grandparents. Daddy was pooped by then, and mommy was hungry. Plus it didn't help that the place was teeming with mosquitoes :-( Anyways, once we got the Citronella candles rolling (and maybe it was the time of the day), the mosquis retreated. Rachana made some awesome sandwiches, and Mausami made some awesome bhel. Top it up with the awesomeness of wine, and we were soon in a "merry" place mentally.

We dropped by to see the show on Condors, but Rian was way too noisy for the amphitheatre, so Amit and I got back to the campsite again. The others followed. The campfire was also burning now. On the dot at 8:45, Rian started crying, and all of us were clueless, isko kya hua? Then we figured it out: his juju time and sleepy time! Amit managed to do an amazing diaper change inside the car, while I got his juju ready. After juju, 10 mins in my arms and the darling was asleep!! :-) I just didn't have the heart to put him down into the tent. Also I was damn sure he'd wake up with our noise and commotion, so up he went, right against my chest, in my Ergo carrier.



We started our hogging again :-) with bhuttas and smores. The restrooms didn't have any lights, so we went with flashlights to do the needful before turning in.

The temperatures dropped quite a lot, quickly. Inside our tent, we were on an airbed, and we zipped our sleeping bags together, and got Rian between the 2 of us. I think the cold and the bodily heat from us kept him asleep for a long time, almost till 4am which is his midnight milk time. The water had gotten so cold, he just could not drink the prepared formula! Amit tried to warm the milk in his hands, then passed the bottle to me. I held it against my warm mummy tummy :-) and it got an almost normal bodily temperature, and Rian was finally happy :-) One of those moments where I felt so proud about doing what I did to get the milk warm!

The morning was nice and warm at 8am. Yup, Rian slept through till 8am :-) Grandpa and Grandma were not quite that lucky and were almost up the whole time. Grandpa's specs lost a screw and one of the glasses came off, then grandma had to go with him to the restroom. The temperatures rose quickly in the morning, and the mosquitoes and flies were back again in the shaded areas where our tents were put up. That meant Amit and Grandma who were wrapping up the tents were bitten again. Grandpa and me fed Rian, and gave him his juju too. Grandma made tea and some sandwiches too.

By the time we were wrapped up and packed, it was 11am, and we were too tired to do anything, and it was too hot, almost 90 something! Neither Amit nor me had the enthu to continue onto a hike, so we packed up and came back in our cool beemer ride. A nice way to spend my first mother's day, we picked up sandwiches on the way, and then slept for a straight 3 hours :-)

Just keep swimming

Last Friday (5/8/09) was Rian's first time in a swim class. Rian had just crossed the 10 month mark. They call the class "Water Babies", and the child is introduced to water with the help of song and dance, accompanied by one parent. We enrolled at Santa Clara Swim School. Amit and I were taking turns, and this was my Friday. When we got there, I realized this was an open pool, not covered. It was 10:30am and the sun was pretty hot. I'd forgotten to carry Rian's "nice" sunscreen that does not burn the eyes. So I borrowed sunscreen from the pool people and applied all over to Rian. Also, I wasn't sure if Rian should be wearing any clothes, so Rian was dressed in only a reusable swim diaper. I realized later I should have made Rian were the UV protection sun suit I bought for him. I think Rian was cold although it was a heated pool. Also this was smack in the middle of his morning nap.



And off we went, into the water. From the moment we went in, to the moment Rian got out of the water, he was crying constantly. He took a few breaks, when he was stuck to me and his head nestled into my neck (very cute, me thinks!). Rian was given a floater like a noodle to keep under his arms but I think that was hurting his hands. So we got a *pink* floating tube for Rian. We sang lots of songs and did some antics including putting Rian's head under water.

Finally the half hour was over and Rian was happy again, stuck to me. I took him into the women's shower room. I must mention: I could not have pulled this one off without Amit's mom. There were warm showers and Rian felt better once I gave him a shower and rubbed him warm. Then it was clothes and all warm warm ... by the time we were done and outside, Rian was in a playful mood again.

I'm thinking it was the first time for Rian, and his reaction was thanks to the water being cold, the sunscreen stinging him, and the being-in-the-water-for-the-first-time scare as well. It seems HD is not too keen on taking him since MIL mentioned Rian's getting dark. 10:30am in this almost summer weather can get pretty darn hot. So maybe we'll withdraw him from class, maybe HD will take him next Friday, we'll see... Up next, Rian's first camping trip :-) update!